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T & G Table Mincers Ltd: Brenda’s lucky day!

 

Published www.tsrn.co.uk/news24th April 2023  


Today I take you back to a time of erm, well, not of innocence, but a time when it was harder to move up at work. Men were stereotyped and women did what they were told. Oh, but not for our heroine of the day. Yes, in this tale set in the leafy suburbs of Harrow in 1956, we find ourselves in the offices of the above T & G Table Mincers. (Those mincing machines with handles that your grandmother screwed to the kitchen table if you don’t know). Here we shall meet two legends of the mincing world. Toni and Geoff and their soon-to-be star employee.

Brenda straightened her thick-set glasses and tidied her bobbed hair. If she was going to resign it was now or never. Having spent the whole weekend ruminating over the decision, today, Monday, would be the day to inform the company owners Toni and Geoff of her imminent departure.

Brenda made her way up the stairs to the third floor of the art deco building.

Approaching the thick midnight blue glossed door, she heard the owner’s familiar aloof tones. Brenda knocked in a confident manner. They were up to something on the other side of the door. Brenda patiently waited.

“I’m telling you now Toni, I can’t hang on any longer. It’s huge and my wrist is beginning to go. Why such a big one this time? Anyhow luv it’s irritating my lumbago.” Said Geoff in a somewhat frustrated voice.

“Hang on just for one sec whilst I just” he added.

There was a gloopy sudden whooshing sound.

“That’s better, I knew the grease gun would do the trick,” replied Toni.

Brenda cleared her throat. As she did, the door opened.

“Come in dear!” They both cried as Brenda stepped into the large office to find a huge wooden contraption in the middle of the room.

“It’s a new drawing board on legs, Brenda,” said Toni. “It’s been a dilemma and a half putting the thing together and look, look, a huge blister on my designer’s drawing hand. Anyhow, how can we help you luv?”

As Brenda told them of her wish to leave T & G Mincers, she saw their faces immediately sadden. Suddenly the memories of the work’s visit to Paris last year came flooding back. The 1955 International Kitchen Appliance Show had been a triumph for the company. Toni and Geoff had guided the team around Paris in the springtime blossom and introduced them to a world they surprisingly had never seen. The gay lights of Paris, the fabric shops, and the nightlife had opened their eyes to a whole new way of living. In fact, Barry from the stockroom had enjoyed it too much. He had stayed on after meeting Pierre, the muscle-bound juggler who had kept them all amused in the jazz club they frequented every night. A tear came to Brenda’s eye. Suddenly she was overcome with emotion!

“I just want more than supervising the mincing production line” she shrieked in her cockney voice as Geoff passed her his best silk handkerchief. (To be honest, she knew it was to protect the parquet floor from getting damp).

“Look at me, I’m a bore with thick glasses and a bob” she added through her soggy silky square.

“Now, now, now,” said Toni “We’ll have none of that” he cried as they took her by the arms across the room to the large silver-dipped, arts and crafts stylized mirror that hung on the opposite wall.

“Look!” Toni cried as he took off her glasses.

“We could be the making of you dear. We’ll send her out on the road Geoff! She can travel the world for us! Your no prune, no prude dear. Well, you won’t be by the time we’ve finished with you!” he cried as he ruffled her unevenly cut bob.

“We’ll send you to Cynthia’s Backstreet Palace on the Harrow Road. He can do anything! You should see what he does with my fuzz and eyebrows at the weekends dear. He’s an artist, an artist! Some hot rollers and a bit of lippy, that’s what you need my girl” he declared, now with tears welling up in his own eyes.

Geoff straightened his purple velvet tie and sighed a reminiscent sigh. The sun shone through the window, bringing out the ditsy flower pattern on his Liberty print silk shirt.

“Yes, yes, oh yes” he added. “I didn’t get this far in life from being bored. As Toni will tell you dear, I built this company from the bottom upwards. I minced my way from Morcombe Bay to the Tangiers and back again. And now Brenda it’s your turn to shine. We could even call you Lorretta instead. What do you think luvvie!!?” he passionately asked as he placed the kettle on the little black enameled gas stove in the corner.

Brenda couldn’t quite believe it. She suddenly felt like Sarah Barnhardt and Dorothy Lamour all mixed up in one. “Oh yes, “she replied, flinging her thick glasses out the open window. “By the time I have finished my explorations, there will be no corner of the world that hasn’t experienced the delights of tabletop mincing!”

So, there we have it. A happy ending to what could have been a very different ending indeed. And if you feel as though you’re wasting away in your current role then let TSRN help you reach the dizzying heights you wish to find!

@ Tiggy Sonya

Find me here on Medium and here at The Sales Recruitment Network. Here for my sales communications blog and here for my Tiggy Sonya's Art, Music, Nature, and Book Patch

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